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Weird Things People Google: March 2013 Edition


One of my favorite activities is looking through my stats and seeing what people are googling to find my site. Many of the terms make sense. For example, I do the annual top sex bloggers list, so “best sex blogs” and “top sex blogs” are commonly used to find that list on this site.

But some of the other terms are a little stranger. Here are some of my favorites, which I thought best to address:

  • when a girls sucks a boys penis r they happy

Well, I guess that depends on the situation. Did her dog just die? Is her boss nagging her? Does your penis smell like Chewbacca’s armpit? Then no, she’s probably not happy. But some girls like sucking cock, so some girls are probably extremely happy to have your weenie in their mouths.

  • how to find a girl in fucking mood

This sounds dangerous. Like, “Man, my girlfriend is in a fucking mood today.” I believe what you really want is to find a girl who is horny. Here’s the thing – just because she’s horny doesn’t mean she wants to fuck you. Instead of finding a random girl who will fuck anything that moves, why not instead woo a girl. It can still be casual sex. But buy her a drink and flirt a little instead of just looking for someone who wants to jump on your dick. Or your friend’s dick. Or your dog’s dick. Or the nearest bedpost.

  • what really happens during anal intercourse

A penis goes into an anus.

  • how to enlarge anal hole

Why not just be happy with the anal hole you already have?

I assume that this person is trying to make anal sex more comfortable. So my advice is to use a finger of very small toy to get yourself relaxed and stretched out before trying to anally fuck a baseball bat. But the fact of the matter is, your body is your body. Some people just have bigger anal holes than others.

“Anal hole” is a funny term. I think I’m going to use it when I’m mad from now one.

“My neighbor parked his car in front of my driveway! What an anal hole!”

“My friend can be such an anal hole when he’s drunk.”

“Hey anal hole! Stop cutting people off while driving!”

I like it.

  • how do you know if your girlfriend has sucked your dick good

What? This isn’t Westminster dog show, where there are standards to compare to. Did you enjoy it? Then she did a good job. Did she bite you? Then she probably did a horrible job.

Unless you like that. In which case, she probably did a good job.

This concludes the March 2013 edition of “Weird Things People Google.” I hope I’ve answered some of your burning question.

About Rori

Rori is the founder of Between My Sheets. She works full time as a writer, reviewer, and online educator and can be reached at


  1. Cammies on the floor March 1, 2013 at 5:39 pm -  Reply

    This is so funny, and I often can’t believe how people find us with google searches.
    Cammies on the floor recently posted..Postponing the InevitableMy Profile

  2. Laura March 14, 2013 at 2:51 am -  Reply

    I don’t do dick sucking. No one ever has something nice to say about a cocksucker. You just can’t have it both ways.
    Laura recently posted..His Eyes are Up ThereMy Profile

  3. Jeff March 20, 2013 at 7:31 am -  Reply

    I loved this post, it actually had me laughing. It really is amazing to see what people actually type into google. It kinda makes me scared for the human race as a whole. My favorite had to be “when a girls sucks a boys penis r they happy” – absolute gold!

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