Knock on Wood…

So I have a date tomorrow night. A really promising date. I wasn’t going to post about it here because I didn’t want to jinx it, but I’m waaaaaaaay too excited about it not to share at least a little!

The guy in question is a total sweetheart, and while he may not be the hottest guy on the planet, I do find him attractive, especially when you pair his looks with his personality. He’s never really had a long-term girlfriend before, which I actually really like about him. To me, that means that a girl’s gotta be super special for him to want to date. He’s not a virgin though, which is also good. I used to want to be someone’s first, but honestly, I’m not sure I could handle the pressure. I wouldn’t call him really experienced in bed, but he’s got a few partners under his belt. Perfect.

Here’s the even perfect-er part…I’ve told him all about my D/s needs, and he’s really into being dominant in a relationship. In fact, one of the girls in his past was submissive (just in the bedroom though) and he really enjoyed it. When we talked about it being 24/7 rather than being in the bedroom only, he told me he wasn’t comfortable with having a slave, and that he’s more into the Daddy/babygirl dynamic. Um….seriously??? *swoons* The more we told one another what we’re looking for in another person, the more we realized that we were describing the other person.

On top of that, he’s really smart. I love that about a guy. In some of my past relationships, intelligences has really been lacking, and although it sounds snobbish, I don’t think I can ever again date a guy who’s not well educated. That doesn’t always have to mean college per se, but I want to be able to talk about books or movies with a guy without feeling like he doesn’t understand half of what I’m saying, and for god’s say, no leet speak in emails to me. It’s “to” not 2 and “you” not u. D is very smart, and so is the bf I had before him, and I can’t settle for less anymore.

So the new guy (I’m going to have to come up with a name if things work out) and I going for sushi tomorrow and then maybe back to my place a little. Haha, that sounds sluttier than it really is. If we end up going to my house, nothing past kissing is going to happen -I’ve already set my boundaries for that, and he knows that I won’t jump into bed with him.

But I do know that the sparks are there. Oh yes, oh yes, they are DEFINITELY there. hehe.

All of that aside, I do know that I’m not quite ready for commitment to someone. When I have a boyfriend, he needs to be the most important thing in my life, and my situation right now just doesn’t allow for that. I’m really busy, and I actually enjoy being really busy. He’s ok with that. Eventually, he is looking for a girlfriend, not just casual non-exclusive dating, and I am too, but we’re both really go-with-the-flow right now.

Also – and this is good news – I think I’m very much over D. One of my favorite readers had mentioned that it might be painful to write about him like I did two posts ago, and I was worried about that too…but it isn’t. You know what did it? Standing up to him and saying “no” about something. I won’t go into major details, but when I looked at the situation, it took that incident to stop feeling submissive to him. Yes, I still love him. I always will, and he knows that. And it makes me jealous when he sees other girls…but not depressed any more. It’s more of a best friend protective feeling now. I want him to date someone I like.

Oh, and for the record, his old flame is gone again. Surprise, surprise. No one expected her to last, though I believe that they’re friendly, which is healthy at least.

Overall, I miss the sex. D and I had some great nights together. Rawr. And I miss the submission. It’s calming to me. I do think, though, that although us breaking up when we did was a crock of shit, I can do better. And so can he. We may be amazing friends, but you shouldn’t have to settle when it comes to life goals for another person, and we both would have with one another.