Between My Sheets

Last night, I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind for the first time. I don’t know why I picked that movie - it just popped up as a recommendation on Netflix, and it was available to watch instantly. Kate Winslet is hot, so I thought…why not?

Wow, life could not have picked a better movie for me at this moment. Seriously. The concept of this movie is that Kate Winslet’s character (Clementine) and Jim Carry’s  character (Joel) have this crazy relationship, which ends somewhat badly. They aren’t bad people, but they just have clashing personalities. So, they both decide to go through this new process where you can erase all memories of another person. Half-way through the erasing process, Joel sees how much he really loves her, despite their problems, and doesn’t want to lose her. So he tries to hide her in his memories, to protect her from being lost to him forever.

*Spoilers*

In the end, he fails and wakes up in the morning with no memory of Clementine at all, but he’s drawn to the place where they first met, as is she, so they end up meeting again. A disgruntled secretary ends up mailing their files to them, and they found out that they’ve known one another in the past, and that they were very unhappy. But they loved one another too, and even though things will likely end tragically, with them hating one another again, they want to be together. They want to try. Because memories with someone you love are just so…very important.

*End Spoilers*

There are a lot of interesting moments in this movie. One of my favorites is when Clementine says to Joel, “I’m not a concept. Too many guys think I’m a concept or I complete them or I’m going to make them alive, but I’m just a fucked up girl who is looking for my own peace of mind. Don’t assign me yours.”

People who know me at just the surface…I feel like they treat me that way. I make them feel things that they haven’t felt before. I’m not like other girls. I’m not like other people. I’m a lot like Clementine in some ways, just this girl trying to live every moment of life, even though that means being over-the-top and passionate and crazy.

But beneath that, I really am just a fucked up girl looking for peace of mind. I try to tell people that, and by the time they understand, it’s too late. They resent me. The novelty of Rori wears off, and the broken girl underneath is too much trouble to keep around.

If you could erase someone from your memory, would you do it? If you really cared about them, would it be easier to just let go fully and completely? If life brought you back together again, would you want a second chance, knowing how bad things were the first time around? Is complete love worth complete pain?

Someday, when the novelty of Rori wears off, the girl underneath isn’t going to be broken and trouble and drama anymore. She’s just going to be Rori. I can’t wait.

I may have been one of the few people who hadn’t seen this movie, but if you haven’t yet either, check it out.

And for the record, the answer is yes. Complete love is always worth complete pain. Don’t let go of your memories, even though some of them are painful.