Advice

How to Last Longer in Bed

4

This is post is sponsored by World Sex. All opinions and advice are my own!

I once dated a guy who could only be accurately described as a two-pump chump. He was a nice enough fella, but he had the lasting power of a sandcastle in a hurricane. If anyone needed a lesson on how to last longer in bed, it was this guy.

He was willing to learn, and I was willing to teach, so the lessons began.

In the end, the relationship with this guy just wasn’t right, so we parted ways before we made much progress. However, the question of how to last longer in bed is one that continued to pop up again and again in my life. I suspect that it is what guys are most insecure about, even before penis size. Whether they lasted one minute or one hour, there was always that question of “did I last long enough?”

So today, I want to share a few tips to help men last longer in the bedroom.

Tip #1: Slow it way down.

Yes, I know you’re so horny that you just want to stick it in there already, but that’s just a recipe for disaster. Slow down the speed a little and focus more on the foreplay. Kissing is really underrated – spend some time just making out and rubbing against one another before you even get your pants off.

Tip #2: Stop right when you’re on the edge.

You know that moment where you’re on the edge and one more thrust will make you cum? Don’t thrust. I know you want to, but instead, pull out, take a few breaths, and then thrust back in, slowly. Sometimes, you might still cum, but other times, this will do enough to cool you off for a second so you can go for a few more minutes. Adding a few more minutes every time you fuck will take you from being a minute man to being a 15 minute man to being a man that can go all night.

Tip #3: Get her off first.

In my experiences, most men will/can cum faster than women. So, get her off first. Spend some time fingering her and eating her out, and bring her right to the edge before you dive in witch your cock (or even get her off completely before you ever unleash the beast). That way, there isn’t as much pressure for you to last long, and sometimes relieving that pressure is all it takes for you to actually have more staying power.

Tip #4: Get off earlier in the day.

Have a big night planned with your hunny? Get off early in the day. A few times even, if you can. If you haven’t cum recently, having sex will make you blow a lot faster. Need some inspiration? Check out the erotica category here at Between My Sheets or check out some sex videos from World Sex or your favorite porn site!

Tip #5: Use a condom.

Using a condom can take that edge off, making sex just a little less intense and allowing you to last longer before cumming. I suggest a generic no-frills condom to start, but you can also experiment with condoms that give different sensations, like Trojan’s Fire and Ice condoms. Test out masturbating first to see if they make the situation better or worse.

Tip #6: Play with temperature.

Sometimes, heating things up or cooling things down can make you last longer. If your partner is into giving blow jobs, have her try drinking something icy like soda or hot (but not scalding) like coffee before taking you in her mouth. Many guys especially like the cool sensation, and it can help with lasting longer. You can also play with ice cubes or use a toy that can be heated/cooled like the VerSpanken, which I recently reviewed.

Tip #7: Use the squeeze technique.

If pulling out right before you’re ready to cum just isn’t enough, try squeezing right below the head of your penis. This can stop you from having the “I HAVE TO CUM RIGHT NOW” feeling. In my experiences, this has about a 50-50 success rate.

Tip #8: Mix pleasure with pain.

Even if you find a little pain sexy, sometimes your body does not. Try having your bed buddy pull your hair, spank you, bite you, etc. as you’re working up to an orgasm. This could help slow things down for your body a little so you can last a bit longer. It depends on your personality, though – for some of you, this could speed things up even more.

Tip #9: Try out some new positions.

Cash always cums more quickly when we’re in missionary, so if he wants to last longer, we switch to doggy or cowgirl. This could be true for you as well – switching up the positions could make a huge difference. You can also try anal sex (check out our anal sex guide for beginners). Some guys find that anal is so tight they cum more quickly, but others find that the tightness and the less lubricated feeling helps them last longer.

Tip #10: Get over it and embrace the quickie.

The more you worry about how long you last in bed, the more likely you will be to cum quickly. Take the pressure off a little because the one thing that most guys don’t understand is that sometimes girls LOVE quickies. It can be really fun to fuck wildly and passionately for five minutes, then go back to life. Yes, we want a guy who has a little staying power at least some of the time, but you don’t have to go all night every night. If you cum, that means you’re having a good time, and what girl doesn’t want that? So if you finish quickly, don’t stress about it. Play with her until you’re ready for round two and then go at it again!

This post is sponsored by World Sex, where you can find tons of sex videos that are great to view online or with a partner.

About Rori

Rori is the founder of Between My Sheets. She works full time as a writer, reviewer, and online educator and can be reached at rori-at-betweenmysheets.com

4 Comments

  1. speedyguy March 16, 2013 at 6:11 pm -  Reply

    I hope you’ll forgive the throwaway “from” address, because I suffer from this problem and it’s embarrassing. I have what I think of as a functional or engineering view of the problem, and wanted to give the guy’s perspective. Shoot holes in it if you want, I’m sure some of you will.

    I have had upwards of 50 partners (10+ long term) and only experienced coming-too-fast with a few. This says to me that the problem is *not* entirely or mostly selfishness on my part. Rather it has to do with the way most people’s sexual equipment — including the brain — is wired.

    Like most guys I know, I can easily be roused (not just to erection but to a state well beyond that, where it’s physically painful not to “proceed with the operation”) just by seeing my girlfriend’s face when she wants it — especially if she engages in yet more provocative behaviors such as flirting or raising her eyebrows. This is natural, and I can’t turn it off except by persuading her to hold off on doing those things.

    The woman’s body, of course, takes much longer to arouse, and you know about that better than I.

    Therefore, the right answer is not to blame the problem on one partner, and make it worse by “punishing” him, but to cooperate in finding a solution.

    When I go on a date with one of the women with whom this happens, I should (and do) make every effort, both to delay my own body’s physical arousal, and to speed up hers. *And she should also be trying as hard as she can to achieve those same two goals.*

    Of course, most affected women aren’t going to listen to me long enough to hear this solution. So they wind up on the “too bad, so sad” list.

    • Rori March 16, 2013 at 9:11 pm -  Reply

      Thank you SO MUCH for the input! I love to get a guy’s perspective on things. I think you hit the nail on the head with your last comment: if a woman doesn’t give a crap about finding a solution, they should get shown the door. Any girl worth her weight will want to work with you on it.

      Don’t be too embarrassed. While it does get annoying for the girl if the guy doesn’t care about her pleasure (i.e. he’s selfish), it can sometimes feel kinda awesome to know that you can turn on a man that much before I’m even naked.

  2. Rob Kubsch March 30, 2013 at 11:23 pm -  Reply

    I have found it beneficial to ensure that my spouse is totally engaged in the act. Taking the time to set the mood, the time, the lighting, everything helps to make sure that the pressure is off–just to have that final moment of glory.

    Try to avoid the happy ending; enjoy the moment(s) you have with your spouse/partner. This will create the longer lasting, incredible sex you will talk about for days and crave for years.

  3. Camryn September 8, 2013 at 6:47 pm -  Reply

    I think it’s important to note that “too soon” varies. If all parties are sated and satisfied, the duration of vaginal or anal intercourse isn’t a big deal. If that’s not the case, and the reason for the dissatisfaction is the duration of the intercourse, then it can be considered a problem.
    I’m the curious sort, so when my partner ejaculates sooner than expected I politely ask why. I’ve found that certain types of stimulation make him orgasm faster, and that varying the speed, pressure, and area of the stimulation both makes him last longer and makes his eventual orgasm/ejaculation more pleasurable/forceful.

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