So, today I decided to take a big step, and I joined CollarMe.com. I’m not the hugest fan of online dating, but yes, I’ve met people online before. I signed up with OKCupid.com as well, but I wanted to try a non-traditional dating site as well. Though maybe I’d have better luck on there finding what I really want.
And now, I rant…
In any case, in only 12 hours (ish), I’ve gotten over 100 emails – some of them before I even finished my profile. Wtc, people. Are there THAT MANY horny, dom males out there? I mean, it was apparent that most of them haven’t even ready my profile. Some hints for guys who actually want replies on dating sites:
~ Don’t refer to me as "bitch," "slut," or even "sub." I am none of those things to YOU yet. Likewise, don’t DEMAND that I email you back or otherwise try to be my dom. You aren’t. That’s something special I CHOSE to give to someone eventually. Just because you are a dom and I am a sub doesn’t mean that I have to listen to you.
~ If you don’t meet what I’m looking for, don’t waste my time emailing me. I made it VERY clear in my profile that I wasn’t interested in people outside of a certain age range, yet some were very persistent.
~ I don’t mind answering questions, but you come off demanding and ass-hole-ish if your entire message to me is ONLY questions. Tell me something about yourself, such as why you are interested in emailing me.
~ Read my profile. Please. I’m not into certain things, and I’m very clear about that. You aren’t going to change me mind simple because you’re a dom. I have my own personality.
~ I’m not a financial sub. No one should be. I’m also not your ticket to the United States. Give me a break.
~ I got your first email. If I don’t respond in three or four days, sure, email me again…but if I get three emails in a row from you wondering why you haven’t responded. Well, because I haven’t fucking had the TIME yet. I like to write thoughtful responses. The more times you email me in 24 hours, the less likely I am to want to email you back.
On the plus side, I’ve gotten some emails from some VERY sweet, interesting, funny, nice people, and I’ve been replying to them. Hopefully, I can at least make some friends 
- Get post updates via email.
- Get post updates via RSS.
- Get on my special mailing list to find out what's *really* between my sheets.
- Connect with me on Facebook or Twitter.
I have the same rules…and I even posted them at one time in my collarme profile. Shit once I even peppered the whole profile with a capitalized word here and there, which made up a sentence. If they really read it, they’d see that and answer the question when they wrote.
I can tell you that not even subs follow these rules. I had so many sub men who just flat-out ignored my desires and dislikes.
LOL! I’m just so amused by this rant. It happens to every single woman I’ve ever met who joined a dating site…doesn’t even matter if its a D/s site. Its the same, just the details are different.
I finally got myself a blog on the sites I joined and I have myself a regularly scheduled rant of all the bone headedness lately observed. It amuses us all…and somehow the boneheadedness seems to dry up relatively quickly.
The only site I’ve seen which I’ve not needed any rants for is fetlife. Not a one. Been a member there for about 7 months now. That’s a record.
You’re doing just fine…*grins*
Unfortunately this is a standard thing online these days.
Men assume that if you’re a sub then respect quickly goes out the window and you’re fair game for any type of abuse.
All good Doms know that treat your subs with respect and dignity and things are much easier.
I’m amused by some of the emails I get from those sites too.
I’m specific about seeking someone single, local, and within a reasonable age range. They insist that they are worth it, if they are old enough to be my grandfather, etc. Or the ones that are clearly mass-emailings. Or the heinous picture of themselves taken in the bathroom mirror. (Instant deletion!) The demands and assumption that because they are ‘self-described’ dominants, that means instantaneous and complete submission. And if I don’t, that means I’m not a ‘real’ submissive. (rolling eyes)
Sometimes, when I’m feeling particularly saucy, I’ll ask them how that approach works for them.
And how about those that claim they are a ‘natural dominant’? Is there an un-natural or artificial dominant? Duh, isn’t it a given if you are dominant, you are by nature?
Ugh, how annoying. Presumptious people and unwanted attention… Why is it so difficult for people to understand that they need to earn trust and permission sometimes before doing certain things?
This is why I’m reluctant to sign up for dating/social sites of that nature… Curiousity will eventually get the better of me though, I’m sure =)
Btw, thanks so much for your advice. I finally responded to you here:
http://bipoly.wordpress.com/2008/11/06/dealing-with-jealousy/#comment-255