Catching Up on the D Story

First, I’d like to say that I’m absolutely loving all the nominations coming in for my annual sex bloggers list. Keep up the good work, everyone!

Today, I wanted to talk about someone very important in my life from the start of this blog – D. I call him Daddy in older blog posts because at one time he was my Daddy and my boyfriend. In fact, he was my first dom.

I little history for those of you just getting here: D and I met because we worked together. At the time, I had a boyfriend. I was writing this blog at another location and as part of a network owned by the company where we worked, so he got to know me as “Rori” before he got to know the real me. Not that the real me is much different, but this blog (and the blog I was writing back then) show just one side of me.

We built a nice little friendship, and over the course of a few months, my relationship with my boyfriend broke down. It was at this point that I started getting very interested in BDSM. My current boyfriend was not, and D very much was. I’m convinced that my boyfriend and I would have broken up in time no matter what, but my friendship with D definitely expedited things.

I started giving control, little by little, to D. He gladly too it, though by the time I was officially not with my boyfriend anymore, he was casually dating another girl. That eventually broke down too, and in July (I think) of 2008, we became a couple.

It didn’t end well. The D/s was fun for awhile, but we were forced into a long-distance relationship, and one of his ex girlfriends came back into his life. He cheated on my. Just on the phone, but in my book and his, that is still cheating. We broke up. I wanted to forgive him and get back together. He couldn’t forgive himself. We had lots of arguments, and he told me to move on. By that spring…I did.

The ex left him again, which is no surprise because she’s about the flakiest girl I know. He ended up getting back together with the girl he was dating right before me, though I personally think that was a symptom of loneliness more than anything. I got together with V for a short time. D and I still fought a lot, so we started avoiding one another. It stank to not have your best friend around, but one or the other of us was always upset, so it was best to just keep our distance a little and be peripheral friends.

In October of 2009, shit hit the fan. We ended up at the same conference for work, and the person who came with me to the conference was The Student. I was dating V at the time, so nothing was happening between the student and me, but D knew there was a history and was livid that I brought him. He spent the entire conference extremely upset and would barely talk to me, even though we hadn’t seen one another face-to-face in nearly a year.

Afterward, he texted me and said that he was sorry, but he couldn’t do this. He was still in love with me and couldn’t have me in his life as just a friend. And I told him that I felt similarly. I was no longer in love with him, but I couldn’t have him in my life if he was just going to yell at me all the time. So, we stopped talking. Completely. No IMs, emails, phone calls, nothing. I cut him out of my life, and he accepted that.

In March this year, he called me. We talked. He wanted to be back in my life. He told me that he’d really been trying to improve himself and work on his anger problems. He told me that he still loved me, but wanted to work on a friendship and maybe something more, proving to me that he could be the type of person I wanted in my life. So…well…I decided to give him a chance.

Now it is nearly July, and he’s made good on his promise to be a better person. I didn’t really believe it was possible. I’m not saying that we haven’t argued at all or that he’s a perfect person, but we’re rebuilding the trust and friendship, and it certainly is much stronger than it was in the past. I feel that this is a brand new start for us.

And now…well…he’s moving here. Not just closer to me, not just in my town. He’s moving into my house. I have a spare room since my roommate moved out and could use the money. He wants to be in this area because of some job opportunities he’d like to pursue. It might be the biggest mistake of our lives. It might be wonderful.

We’re just going to be roommates and friends. No dating. At least not now. D is hung up on this girl he met who lives near here and says that he’s moved on from loving me. She makes me wildly jealous, but at the same time, I’m not interested in dating him right now. I like being single. I like knowing that I have options.

I won’t lie though – the thought of some cuddles with D is really exciting to me. I miss his cuddles and his kisses. Maybe it can’t be anything more right now, but who knows what it could become.

It’s certainly a big change in my life, and one that most of my friends don’t understand, given how D used to treat me and how much we used to fight in the past. The D I’m getting to know now is such a different person. He’s really growing up, and that’s cool to see.

I’m very much into giving second chances. This is his. We’ll see how it goes.