Selecting the Sexiest Strap-On

We can’t all be born in a way that agrees with the type of sex we want. If that was the case, then I’m pretty sure every man on the planet would want a second dick. Most of us spend our adult lives wondering what we have to do to experience a porn-star orgasm. And since we’re all lacking one thing or another in the bedroom, high-quality sex toys have become an invention that we simply cannot live without. In fact, 7 out of 10 couples own a sex toy of some sort, and those numbers get even higher when we talk about single people.

As an answer to the market’s demand, the last few decades have seen an explosion of epic proportions in the sex toy industry. Never in the history of mankind has there ever been so many sex toy options available to the average person. Back in the day, people had to see a doctor to cop a decent nut. But now, between vibrating cock rings, hyper-realistic sex dolls, automatic blowjob machines and squirting dildos, there’s something for pretty much everybody.  

So that’s why, when strap-ons hit the market, people were not surprised by their presence, nor were they taken aback by the perverse product’s immediate popularity. Featured in countless movies and mentioned in numerous public forums since its official inception, the strap-on sex toy now seems to have a permanent place in our society. And as gender fluidity becomes more normalized in the world, I predict sales of strap-ons to go through the roof even more. After all, the best way to get kinky is to break some rules, right?

Well, strap-on sex toys are certainly the rule-breakers we’ve all been looking for in this square, black-and-white existence we find ourselves in. However, the device’s rightful acceptance has sparked a flooded market, causing many consumers to lose faith in finding a good one before they ever start shopping. And while that’s totally understandable, it’s also a sign of complacency and ain’t nobody got time for that.

Luckily, finding the best strap-on is a relatively simple process once you know what to look for. Avoiding clever marketing schemes is always your best bet, but that’s easier said than done. We’ve all fallen for that BS at least once in our lives. So, make things easier, it’s crucial to consider a few things first. Let’s begin with discussing the purpose and validity of strap-ons, shall we? (Trust me, this is important.)

Why A Strap-On Though?

Since the first strap-on was invented, its posterity has provided people with a whole new kind of sexual experience – one that rivals organic, heteronormative sex in a way nobody ever dreamed possible. In fact, the right strap-on can change the game in innumerable ways. For example, a high-quality strap-on sex toy can (and most likely will) do the following 5 things:

  • Allow You and Your Partner to Climax at the Same Time

Strap-ons are intuitively designed to provide pleasure to both people simultaneously. Through the use features like dual heads, vibrating bullets, texturized stimulation pads and strategically placed straps, the right strap-on (used with skill, of course) can help you and your partner reach orgasm at the same time.

  • Foster More Creativity in the Bedroom

When you have a bunch of high-end sex toys in your arsenal, it’s much easier to do something extraordinary in the sack. Strap-ons allow you to go with the flow and try new things without feeling stupid. Because they’re designed for the express purpose of fostering sexual creativity, whipping one out will allow you to express your desires without looking like a fool.

  • Encourage Sexual Openness Where There Was None Before

Sometimes, we just need a little encouragement to break out of our shell and start experiencing all that life has to offer. In the realm of sex, the sky is the limit. So, if you choose the right one, a strap-on can make it easier to explore boundaries and push envelopes. When the mood strikes, you want to be prepared with safe and effective equipment that leaves no regrets.

  • Challenge Gender and Dominance Roles

He who holds the wand makes the rules, right? Well, with a good strap-on you can change the game and put the balls back in your court (literally). Having gender and/or dominance roles challenged during sex can be erotic. For some, it even acts as a natural aphrodisiac. So, while completely flipping the script may not be in the cards, blurring the lines could be.

  • Provide Completely New Sensations for Both Users

Well-made strap-ons have the ability to elevate the orgasm to a whole new level. The sheer act of using one on a partner is arousing enough, but the fact that most strap-ons have dual-pleasure features only adds to the fun. Whether vaginal, anal or oral sex is being performed, both parties are sure to experience something completely original (and even when the toy has been used more than once).

Keep in mind that the quality and efficacy of any strap-on is subjective to the person/people using it. So, while the concept of a strap-on may allow several new sexual freedoms for you and your partner, you’ll both be disappointed if you don’t shop for one with some frugality. Remember, the modern-day sex toy market is replete with options, many of which look and sound like great deals upfront. The key is to cut through the smoke and mirrors to find something that truly feels great.

So, what should be a relatively simple shopping trip has turned into a pain in the ass for a lot of people. Don’t blame me, blame the industry. I’ll be giving you a heads-up on what to look for, plus I’ll dole out a few recommendations as well. Take it from someone who has already been there and done that: Trial and error is not an option here because 1) some strap-ons are super expensive and 2) choosing the wrong model could ruin it for everybody.

The Top 5 Ways to Tell If That Strap-On Is Worth It or Not

The strap-on model you choose has a lot more to do with features and functionality than price and discretion. Usually, strap-ons either come apart for easy storage or have packing containers included. If not, you’ll probably want to think about where you’ll hide your new toy before going any farther.

In addition, the price of a strap-on is not always indicative of its quality or durability. Some of the less expensive models are far more robust than their costlier counterparts, meaning you’ll have to do your homework ahead of time to avoid getting suckered into something you don’t really want. To ace the test, a few factors about each choice will need to be examined.

Considering each strap-on is different despite the apparent similarities, it’s important to have a generalized checklist which covers all areas of the purchase. The model you select will have a huge impact on how fun it is to use, how comfortable it is to wear, and how easy it is to get on or off. If you skip this part because you’re in a hurry to get off, then you’re on your own, homie. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

As promised, here are the top 5 things you should look at or consider when shopping for your next (or first) strap-on sex toy:

The Fit

Because this is one of the only sex toys on today’s market that gets worn by one of the people using it, size is of extreme importance here – more so than it will ever be with dildos, vibrators, masturbators or prostate massagers. Get the wrong fit on a strap-on and you might as well throw it away. I mean, you could probably find something creative to do with it, but I’m just not sure how well a dildo lamp will go over with company.

Look at the measurements of each strap-on you’re considering, and I’m not just talking about how big the attached dildo is either. Check for things like adjustable straps via Velcro, buckles or both. Make sure it has the type of support you need for the sex you’re trying to have. If it’s flimsily made, nobody’s having any fun (plus, someone could get hurt). Be safe out there, kids.

The Features

You do realize that all strap-ons aren’t made the same, right? Although you may get a mental image when you hear the words, understand that each model is unique and should be handled as such. Even those that have the same basic features often feel and perform differently. And that brings me to my next point: The features. What should a good strap-on have and not have?

Well, that all depends on what you’re looking for. This is, perhaps, the most subjective part of the entire shopping process. There are no right answers here, but for good measure look for features such as:

  • Removeable and/or replaceable dildos
  • Breathable materials on the harness
  • Integrated or bullet vibrators
  • Realistic penis attributes on the dildo (bulbous head, curvature, veins, etc.)
  • Pleasure nodes or texturing on or near the base of the shaft
  • Rechargeable or replaceable batteries (if a vibe is included)

Another relatively new concept, the wired or wireless remote control, has finally found its place among the strap-ons of the world (thank God). So, for partners who want to take the reins or for people who like to remain in control, this little feature could be a game-changer. Just be sure you pay close attention to the power source. You don’t want to be caught on the field with dead batteries.

One more thing: There’s now a strapless strap-on available to those interested. It neither comes with a harness nor does it need one. Held secure by the wearer’s own pelvic or anal muscles, these models are as unique as they are difficult to use. So, while strapless models may seem appealing to those who want to avoid the possible chaffing that comes with wearing a harness, I warn you all against jumping right on the bandwagon without careful consideration. These things take a lot of skill, or a lot of patience to learn (whatever the case may be).  

The Dildo (Or Lack Thereof)

First of all, while checking out the features and examining the detailing on the dildo, don’t forget to pay close attention to its dimensions. Strap-ons come with a wide variety of dildo sizes, ranging from extremely small to large and in charge. Find a strap-on with the perfect harness but get the wrong dildo with it and you’re in the dog house faster than 40 going West. I know that from experience.

And did you know that you can buy a strap-on harnesses by itself? That means, if you have a favorite dildo that you prefer to use, just buy a versatile harness and bypass the whole “Is This Dick Right for Me” part of the process. Be careful here, though, because some dildo-free strap-ons are partial to certain brands and will only fit specific dildos properly.

The Materials

Like a relationship that’s bound to fail, a good fit and the right physical features aren’t enough to suffice a lasting bond. It’s all about the cloth from which your partner is cut. The same can be said about strap-ons: The materials with which your device is made will ultimately matter more than the bells and whistles it has (or doesn’t have). In other words, there’s a big difference between nylon and polyester.

Since you’ll likely wear (or enjoy) the strap-on’s powers for several minutes or hours at a time, it goes without said that the harness should be made from a comfortable and breathable materials. However, little has been mentioned about the dildo’s material. If possible, always go with a silicone, TPE, glass or metal one to avoid skin irritations and/or allergic reactions. If you find an awesome harness that has a shoddy dildo attached, see if it’s interchangeable and then simply insert your favorite toy instead.

The Manufacturer

Although I mentioned earlier that a strap-on’s brand affiliation isn’t always indicative of its quality, newbies will be best served sticking to the beaten path when looking for a good device. Those who don’t mind branching out are welcome to do so, as long as the product successfully passes through all the checkpoints above. Put simply, it’s possible to find a well-made and affordable strap-on, even from a virtually unknown maker.

The issue isn’t with the name; it’s with the manufacturing processes. So, if one of the devices you’re considering is made under less-than-strict guidelines, it’s probably best to keep looking. However, if it’s made under regulation and features everything you want in a strap-on, go for it even if the maker is someone you’ve never heard of.

The Three Kings: My Favorite Strap-Ons

Regardless of how picky I am, it was still extremely difficult for me to narrow my list of favorites down to just three models. I’m certainly a fan of this gender-bending product, which is why I always find something to love about all of them. Either way, I did the impossible, just so you could enjoy the same amazing experiences I have enjoyed with a good strap-on. Below are my top three favorite strap-on models, each available right now by the ever-improving sex toy industry:

BEST OVERALL: The Lovehoney Perfect Partner

This bad boy has everything you’d want in a strap-on, including several unisex features that make it an ideal tool in any bedroom. With a built-in 10-function vibrator that cycles through three different speeds and seven distinct patterns, the Lovehoney Perfect Partner can provide pleasure to both parties. It also comes with a wired remote control, so either person can be in the driver’s seat. The elastic waistband gives the Perfect Partner plenty of stability for thrusting the realistic 8-inch dildo attached, and the harness itself is compatible with a handful of other dildos currently available on the market.

PRO: The textured silicone dildo transmits vibrations nicely, providing a well-rounded sensation that can be felt all the wall to the tip.

CON: The compatible dildos list is shorter than my last relationship.


Although it may not look like your everyday strap-on, this sweet little number performs in much the same way. Sans harness, this strapless strap-on model is designed to provide both people with simultaneous pleasure while also strengthening the wearer’s pelvic floor muscles in the process. So, while it may take some getting used to, the slightly curved Tantus Feeldoe has enough user-friendly features to suffice lengthy training sessions. This hypoallergenic hero is not only waterproof and dishwasher safe but it also has a removeable vibrating bullet with half a dozen settings to explore. Well, I’ll be damned.

PRO: This thing trains your body while it pleases everybody and you can’t beat that.

CON: Some users may find it very difficult to keep the device securing inside during sex.

MOST VERSATILE: The King Cock Ultra

The King Cock Ultra is the granddaddy of all strap-ons, boasting a humongous 9-inch dildo with realistic texturing. The harness itself is a force to be reckoned with – patent leather, stainless steel buckles and Velcro reinforcements. It adjusts to fit waist sizes between 25 and 52 inches and is designed to house countless other dildos in case you feel like switching it up. The dildo included has a suction cup base for hands-free fun and the whole shebang (as enormous as it is) is made ergonomically, meaning it will fit comfortably for several hours.

PRO: It comes with a large enough dildo to put anyone in submission, plus it can be swapped out with almost anything in your collection.

CON: It doesn’t have any of those neat vibe functions of its own, plus it’s kind of hard to add one into the mix.

3 Worthy Harness-Only Strap-On Options

Sometimes, settling for what’s available doesn’t fly. Already have a good dildo you’re obsessed with? Looking for a strap-on harness without all that compulsory fake dick stuff in the way? I know how you feel. For some, taking the “bull the by horns” is the only great way to customize a sexual experience enough to make it pleasurable. So, check out these harness-only strap-on options before you go:

MOST COMFORTABLE: The Packer Gear Boxer Shorts

Unlike any other harness on the market, this one is made to fit a man’s body but looks dead sexy on a woman’s. Designed with the user’s comfort in mind, these long-wear cotton-blend boxer shorts feature a vibe pocket and a generous O-ring that stretches to accommodate a wide variety of toys. In fact, this harness is compatible with single or double-edged dildos.

MOST ATTRACTIVE: The Spareparts Hardwear Harness

This unisex model is not only well-made but it’s also good-looking. Like something straight out of the movie “Tomb Raider,” this sexy strap-on harness has an adjustable waist and adjustable leg straps. It also has two separate pockets for bullet vibrators, plus it features a stretchy O-ring to make sure it can fit almost any dildo in your collection. Worthy of mentioning as well are the easy-to-use buckles that make this model one of the easiest to get into and out of.

MOST HARDCORE: The Aslan Jaguar G

Made out of ridiculously durable black leather, the studded Aslan Jaguar G is a harness for hardcore fans only. Featuring a series of polished metal clasps, the thick straps adjust around your waist like a belt and hold fast against your sweaty skin without causing irritation. This thing not only has an ample O-ring for your dildos but it also offers a butt plug holder for those kinkier moments you’re about to enjoy.  

The End Game

Making the right call here is important, especially since strap-ons represent so many kinky things that may or may not be acceptable to your partner. If you’re new to this, tread lightly. I recommend getting a harness and using it with your favorite dildo, that way you’re at least familiar with something.

As for my more experienced brothers and sisters, now is the time to venture out. Tell the world of strap-on manufacturers that you mean business. If the supply isn’t worthy of your dollar, convince makers of the demand. In the meantime, the strap-on models mentioned here should get you by until the next sex toy genius is born.