Best Blowjob Machines: The Fleshlight Launch

I don’t know about you, but achieving an amazing orgasm is on the top of my priorities list. Everything else can take a back seat because it’s all fluff, fodder and filler in my opinion. My unique point of view has afforded me the opportunity to try out some of the best sex toys on the planet. And with that experience comes a certain level of expertise that I bring along with me every time I encounter something new. It’s a tough job but someone’s got to do it.

Meanwhile, I’m flying through sex toys at the speed of light and finally get stopped in my tracks one afternoon when a friend of mine mentions a brand spanking new product being introduced by the Fleshlight brand (the same guys who have supplied about 30% of my entire sex toy collection). I obviously need to know more, so I launch an investigation into the matter after my little conversation with newsboy. As it turns out, I already own a few masturbators that will work perfectly with this thing, plus it has some pretty cool high-tech features I’d like to explore. Long story short, I end up buying one from an online dealer and rest is history.

So, how did my experience with the Fleshlight Launch turn out and were all my hopes and dreams made manifest from this miracle machine? I’ll give you one hint: I decided to write a review about it. But before we get into all that, let’s make sure we’re all on the same page about the subject matter, shall we? It’s logic before libido, ladies and gents.

What is the Fleshlight Launch?

The Launch by the famous Fleshlight brand is one of the first of its kind. It’s an automatic male masturbation unit that has more bells and whistles than your average hotrod, plus it was made to do so much more than your run-of-the-mill jerk off machine. Basically, the FL is a big, black, automatic device that can house your favorite masturbation toy while sending sexy signals to your senses via Bluetooth-ready, high-tech features such as virtual reality and affiliated online porn content. And while it’s not exactly designed for couple’s play, it can be assembled to either perform during foreplay or provide useful stamina training. Overall, the Fleshlight Launch remains a serious contender among similar devices because of its ergonomic shape and compatibility with other sex toys.

The Main Features

Considered by many as the granddad of all male masturbation toys, the Fleshlight Launch is a high-tech pleasure product with more than enough features to explore. This thing can be used as a intercourse simulator or an oral sex mimicker, meaning it has the components to do both. It can automatically pump your penis at speeds of up to 180 strokes per minute, plus it’s compatible with the world’s most popular virtual reality goggles and can gain access to the industry’s most robust online porn library for real-time, hands-free fun.¬† It syncs with other sex toys as well, even ones from an entirely different brand. The FL also features touch-sensitive LED controls on the side of the device which makes manual manipulation a snap, and the entire contraption is USB rechargeable too.¬†Perhaps best of all is that this thing features a mode that allows users to enjoy all the same sensations even when the device isn’t fully charged. The Launch is also very durable and made from hypoallergenic materials that work wonders with all water-based lubes.

What Comes in the Box?

I’ve noticed that the Fleshlight brand is notorious for handing out freebies with their products, but their not-so-little Launch device doesn’t come with anything you didn’t pay for. That doesn’t mean it’s a rip off, it just means you might have to spring for some extras outside the initial cost of the machine. Here’s what you’ll get for the money you spend upfront:

  • The Fleshlight Launch device
  • A universal USB charging cable
  • An instruction manual
  • A warranty registration card
  • Information and instructions to access the online porn library

You might notice that there wasn’t any lube samples or toy cleaning solution mentioned in the list above and that’s because you won’t find any. You also won’t get a compatible masturbator with your purchase because those things are always sold separately and you know it. You will, however, get a tiny leaflet with cool deals and promotions to explore, so at least there’s that.

The Experience

There’s nothing quite like receiving a gift in the mail, especially when it was sent by yourself to be used on your dick for an automatic orgasm. I get my package one rainy afternoon when there’s nothing to do outside. It’s like the gods of good sex knew what daddy needed. The container has no distinguishing marks on it, so the neighbors are still unaware of the freak shit that goes on next door and I can still wave to them at the mailbox. I open it up and see my device laying there in its own box surrounded by a pillowy layer of packing material. I feel so cared about the manufacturer, it’s almost like we know each other at this point. And although I may be kidding about that, the quality of the packaging was still some of the best I’ve ever seen. So far, so good, Fleshlight.

The toy itself looks like something out of a science fiction movie. I can totally play this thing off as something else when friends and family come over – a discretionary quality that I’ve come to appreciate greatly from this brand. I mean, this thing is sleek, polished, simplified, weighted proportionately and everything. It has a few buttons on the side that I assume are for manual controlling, so I whip out the owner’s manual and start trying to figure this things out. Much to my chagrin, the instructions say I have to charge the son of a bitch for nearly 9 hours before I can do anything with it. I’m docking some points, FL.

The next day comes around and I’m finally ready to test drive this bad boy. I already owned a few standard Fleshlight masturbators and even had a Kiiroo Onyx 2 given to me the prior year, so there was no need for me to buy any extra parts like some of you might have to. I got out some VR goggles, operated the Bluetooth connection and had everything ready to go this time. So, I proceed to ignition by choosing my favorite model and getting it docked inside the chamber. With one quick snap the device attaches itself. T minus 30 seconds until takeoff. My dick is throbbing in anticipation so much that there’s already pre-cum seeping out of the head. I slather on some good water-based lube and let the show begin.

About 60 seconds into my session I feel like I’m going to blow. I probably shouldn’t have underestimated the machine by starting out on the highest setting, but still. If anything can get me off in one minute flat, it gets my vote automatically. I didn’t even have time to enjoy the VR that round, but I sure as hell did the next one. As if things couldn’t get more intense, I found myself sitting in my living room having sex with my favorite porn star in real time without having to move a single muscle. I honestly don’t know how our ancestors made it through life without toys like this, but I’m sure as shit glad they have them now.

The Ups and Downs

We’re all adults here. We’ve been in this world long enough to know that nothing for sale is made perfectly. Toys broke when we were kids and they’re going to break now. So, even the best-selling pleasure products in the industry will have a few flaws here and there. The Fleshlight Launch is no exception. Here are the things I think you need to know before spending any money on one:

PROS

  • Fully automatic sensations
  • Top-notch 2D and 3D porn library
  • Compatible with all full-sized Fleshlight male masturbators
  • Compatible with the Kiiroo Onyx and Pearl
  • USB rechargeable battery
  • Made from skin-safe materials

CONS

  • Requires 6-9 hours of charge
  • Does not have a manual function
  • Compatible masturbator sold separately

The Takeaway

Considered the cream of the automatic masturbation crop, this amazing machine can become nearly anything you want it to be – an intercourse simulator, an oral sex mimicking toy, a manual penis pumper, you name it. And because it can sync with VR glasses and the world’s largest online porn database, it’s perhaps the most exciting and user-friendly device on the market. Made by one of the best-known brands in the industry, the Fleshlight Launch cranks your yank at speeds of up to 180 strokes per minute. On top of that, it features ergonomic touch-sensitive LED controls for manual or couples-friendly play, can be used while it’s hooked up to the charger, and is surprisingly lightweight considering its otherwise cumbersome appearance. I’d say that’s a pretty amazing product, even if it does have a few minor limitations.