I don’t always need a dom in bed. Don’t get me wrong – any man I date has to have a dominant personality, and it has a much better chance of working out in the long run if he’s into the BDSM culture…but it isn’t something that I have to have all the time in the bedroom to feel fulfilled. Now that V is no longer in my life romantically, I’ve been seeing what else is out there, mostly online, and although I do have profiles on some kink sites, I also have profiles on vanilla dating sites.
Before I met V, there was another guy in my life, though we quickly determined that we’re better as friends, since we live relatively far away from one another and that won’t change anytime soon. He’s still one of my very best friends, and I’m not ashamed to say that he’s a “regular” when it comes to my fantasies. The sex…it was hot. I met him while he was still in school, so let’s just call him The Student. He’s important enough in my life that he deserves a name for this site.
I remember one weekend in particular when we had an entire weekend to spend loving on one another. At that time, he lived in a dorm room (I know, ew), and his roommate wasn’t the type of guy who was accommodating when it came to guests. For some reason or another, however, the roomie was gone for the weekend, and I was in town. It wasn’t really a coincidence.
The Student wasn’t – still isn’t – a dom. He has a dominant personality, which is important to me, so he’s the type of guy who will pull you to him for the first kiss, grab your ass as you walk by, tell you what he wants in bed. He’s not the type of guy who owns restraints, though, and I don’t think he ever will. That’s ok. We’ve talked about everything and he knew well before we ever slept together that I was a sub. At first, I think that made him a little uncomfortable, but I think that’s pretty common with most people. Until you really get to know people who are into the D/s lifestyle, it all seems so weird and gross. I think he’s realized that it’s not, but that doesn’t mean he’s interested in a D/s lifestyle himself.
So, anyway, we had this wonderful weekend to spend together, and at this point we had already hooked up a few times, so we knew we were going to have fun, and we didn’t get to see one another often, so we were both hungry for one another. I was barely in the door and he was kissing me, his hands all over my body. The sex? Yeah, it was good, as good as I remembered it. It didn’t matter that he didn’t tie me up or blindfold me or face-fuck me. What mattered is that we were both having fun, and at that point, when I was still getting upset thinking about D, it was really a release to just fuck someone who wanted me as badly as I wanted him.
During sex, I did notice something though. It started with him spanking me, and escalated into other stuff like scratches and holding down my wrists and covering my mouth (though that may have had more to do with the fact that his neighbors were pounding on the walls because I was too loud). In any case, I noticed him making an effort to dom me in bed.
I’m not going to say that I didn’t like it. I love leaving a night of passion with bite marks, and I love when my ass is bright red from the slap of someone’s hand. Because of my sub personality, though, I was kind of concerned. This wasn’t the stuff that he would naturally do when with a girl. He was doing it because I wanted it…and really, that kind of defeats the purpose of being a sub, doesn’t it?
I put it out of my mind. His cock in me felt too good for me to care, and I wasn’t in a sub state of mind anyway. It wasn’t about D/s, it was just about fun. And feeling him slap my ass as I was on all fours he thrust into me…that was fun.
“Fuck me harder,” I growled…and he did.
But as much as I love doggie, with The Student…daaaamn I loved riding him. He’s not a small guy, not by any standards, and when I’m on top, his cock perfectly hits my g-spot, which is not something I can say for most guys in any position. It’s actually a little too intense sometimes, and I have to slow down because I start to get sore. Watching his face as I fucked myself with his cock, him pulling me toward him so he could suck on my nipples, leaning back so he could play with my clit while he was still inside me…
To be honest, I really just remember splashes of moments from that night together. I’d like to write out a long post detailing every moment, but the truth is that I was so in the moment, so caught up in him, that the details began to just melt away. And that doesn’t happen to me often. I like to remember the details, I like to fantasize about them later, I like to drink in the moments. With The Student, it was almost always impossible, for some reason.
We were in the half-awake, cute little kisses mode the next morning, knowing we’d have to wake up soon, but not wanting to untangle our naked bodies just yet. And then it happened.
Sometimes there’s a moment when you’re with someone that just seems like a slow-motion movie sex scene, and those are the moments that you carry with you, that make even the bad days a little brighter. It was just starting to get light and my eyes were still blurry from sleeping. He rolled me over, his hair in my face, and slowly thrust inside of me, just him, wanting it too badly to care about condoms. My pussy ached for him, still sore from the night before, and I wrapped my legs around him to pull him deeper, gasping as he buried his cock in me. He breathed in my ear how good it felt, and I clenched around his shaft, wanting to feel every inch fill me up.
The perfect, sleepy, sexy moment.
He wasn’t trying to be a dom in that moment. He wasn’t trying to be what I wanted. He was just being him, just loving me in his own way, and for me, that was enough. That was what I wanted, more than I wanted someone to spank me or bite me or tie me up. I wanted him.
In the months before I met V, we had some awesome sex, but what will always stand out to me, maybe the only detail I could really hold onto for some reason, was how he looked and felt that morning.
Now that things are over with V, will I see The Student again? Maybe. I’m sad that there’s no relationship potential there, because he really is what I look for in another person. I’ve always been sad about that, and part of me will always hope that life someday brings us together. Until then, I enjoy things for what they are–a great friendship filled with love and without obligation. Oh yeah, and realllllly hot sex. 
About Rori
Rori is the founder of Between My Sheets. She works full time as a writer, reviewer, and online educator and can be reached at rori-at-betweenmysheets.com
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Thank you for sharing. Seemed like you had a great time. VERY HOT!! Kara XOXO
You cannot really control the other one in bed. I think you should be glad that he goes the extra mile to do what you want, but still remains his real self. It seems like you could have a good thing going on, on that level anyway.
Though I agree it probably defeats the purpose of your own expectations, if they are only met indirectly.
Personally, I did change a lot since I’ve been with G, my girlfriend. I was never the dominating type, except occasionally and if it was on request of the partner of the moment. I used to be more of a very sweet, tender guy, to the point that I was driving G. nuts at the beginning of our relationship: I take things so slowly in bed and spent so much time teasing her that she would literally always end up jumping on me.
Eventually I changed and I am definitely more active, and sometimes dominating. I still don’t really think it’s me, and it bugs me a little. But it’s not always like that. And she’s changing as well, as she used to want it very rough and now sort of complains when it is.
Things change.
Both your personality and your fantasms do (I don’t know if I am more dominative now than I used to be because she had me watch more porn, or if I enjoy the rougher porn more now because that reflects more how I am in bed. I’d say it’s probably more of a hidden side of my personality that surfaces).
Great writing! Hot story!
I’m subscribed to your feed and linked to your site, looking forward to reading more.