I’m a huge fan of The Walking Dead.
Stay with me here, I promise this post really is about sex. Kind of. And don’t worry – no spoilers if you’re not caught up on the show!
Anyway, for those of you who have never seen The Walking Dead, it’s about the zombie apocalypse. The main character is a police officer, Rick, who becomes the leader of a survivor group filled with colorful characters. Along the way, you learn that the zombies (“walkers” or “biters”) are not the only threat out there. While most of the people he meets are decent human beings, he also regularly deals with people who are downright nuts or evil. Through it all, though, Rick’s goal is to protect his family and his extended family – the group of survivors he is traveling with.
During the show, he refers to them as “my people.” Not in a weird, in-your-face, “ah, these are my people” kind of way, but it is commonly slipped into the dialogue. “My people are back at the camp….” or “You can join me and my people…” or “I have to talk to my people first…”
When the geeks of the world joke around about the zombie apocalypse, we might talk about wanting that sharp-shooter as part of our group, or someone who can cook, or that friend who goes camping a lot. But what The Walking Dead is about, to me, is the realization that these survival skills, while valuable, are not as important as having someone’s back.
If you want to survive, you need to find your people.
I’m a big fan of casual, consensual sex. I have been since the day I lost my virginity. In my early 20s, I fucked…well, a lot of people. I had relationships at times, but whenever I was single, I spread my legs. It was empowering. It was fun. I don’t regret it. I’m in a sexually-fulfilling, monogamous relationship now, but if I was single, I would probably enjoy casual sex again.
But it’s easy to confuse a romp in the hay with a personal connection, because sex really is personal, even if it’s a one night stand. With casual sex, you may or may not have that connection part. And that’s fine. It’s just important to be honest with yourself about it.
If you were sick, could you call the other person to take you to the doctor? If you had to go out of town, would you trust them to watch your house? If the zombie apocalypse happened, would they share their last can of food with you?
Everyone needs a support system. You can’t survive in this world alone. You need to find your people.
Sex complicates our vision at times. Fucking is just fucking. Do it. Do it a lot. Just make sure you’re thinking clearly about whether or not the other person is one of your people.
Otherwise, you’re going to get hurt. Or potentially bitten by a zombie. Either way, it is not a good situation.
Rori is the founder of Between My Sheets. She works full time as a writer, reviewer, and online educator and can be reached at rori-at-betweenmysheets.com