2 Responses to “Adult Dating 101: It’s All About Expectations”

  1. Dan says:

    Rori…Well, maybe I’ve something to say here:

    a) I’m writing a book about it: Sex With Librarians and God-a mid-live dating memoir
    b) I invested $150,000 in my efforts age 54-59 and have a pretty good 7 year marriage to the “best woman on the planet for me” to show for it at age 66
    c) this was all I did 20 hrs a week for five years age 54-59; my every waking thought for five years–Eros Maniakos. I was a mad fool for love; and proud.
    ….
    I’m with you Rori, people don’t get clear about who they are or what they want or how bad they want it; or not. And why in the world do you need a web site to give you permission to be honest about sex? My wife and I met on eHarmony for heaven’s sake. Hardly a sex site.

    But I always asked lady prospects at coffee on the first date (I remember one Tuesday when I had three coffee dates that day, each 90 min. in length minimum) if they were:
    1) orgasmic
    2) touched themselves once a week
    3) were reasonably healthy
    5 Liked their body and like themselves naked
    5) had time for a relationship
    6) were headed toward marriage (yes, I got married in year five and in a church).

    I had two guys as dating coaches who got me to go online; to make and edit after each coffee date a Full 8.5 x 11 page of Who Am I? And Who Is She? (The Warren Clark the eHarmony guy calls the list a Must Have/Can’t Stand list.)

    What worked for me: I was severe and laser focused about what I wanted; and, got chapped for this: “Why does this have to go anywhere?” she said. As I crossed her off my list.

    It was 99% a self discovery road for me; I was running out of time and needed to get busy. I was serious. And, I’ve a dear wife to show as a result. Many of my male friends today make qyuips like I was lucky. Bullshit. I was knee deep into a lot of prayer (starting at 4am 7 days a week) and Hard Work.

    Rori, thanks again for making us think about these things. Sex is too important to bring up after the first kid arrives! Especially when one is staring late in life.

  2. Paul says:

    Dans’ reply/comment is Very interesting. I live in a small town/rural area of the midwest…His “avenue” may be what I need to do, although I wonder how that would “go over” in my locale. And, I would Love to have been a “fly on the wall” at some of his meet-ups. Dan invested a Lot of time, and, I dare to say, a decent amount of money, especially in the dating coaches. And, I wonder what the age difference is between he and his bride is. But, his Whole comment is Very interesting, and, I dare say, “instructional”.

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