I’ve come to a realization about myself over the past month, for good or bad.

Throughout my late teens and early 20s, I always thought that I needed a man to feel emotionally stable and happy with my life. I know, I know, a lot of you are shaking your heads, but the proof is in the pudding, right? I only felt that inner calm when I was in a long-term, loving relationship. It was just a nice, happy feeling in my life, so I dated a lot trying to find that feeling. I jumped around from guy to guy, looking for a relationship that would last forever. I craved that emotional happiness.

Until I turned 25. For some reason, my 25th birthday was the moment I said fuck it. I was depressed because I never imagined I would be so old and unmarried. I didn’t even have any guys on the horizon for a potential relationship. I faced the realization that I was alone, looked it directly in the face, and gave it the middle finger.

There were some bumps on the road with D moving in of course, since a lot of old feelings were ripped to the surface again, but I didn’t date. And then the stuff with D calmed down and I got over it. And then…and then…

And then nothing. About a year ago, after everything settled with my friendship with D, and I was seriously single and not looking. I mean, I wasn’t going to turn away love if it happened to find me, but I put all that dating energy into my career and my friends. A funny thing happened…I felt that same stability that I had previously only felt when in a long-term relationship. I was calm and happy, at least for the most part.

Did I finally find what everyone else says you have to find? Happiness in yourself before you have happiness with another?

Nope.

This past month, I jumped back on the dating wagon in a big way, going out with a few different guys, and I’m back to feeling insecure about myself and a little crazy.

It’s the dating that does it. If I’m in a relationship, I feel great. If I’m not looking, I feel great. But not knowing where I stand, wondering if someone likes me, all that jazz? It’s for the freakin’ birds! DATING SUCKS.

That’s the moral of the story. Dating sucks. The end. Fin. That’s all she wrote. :-p

I’ll power through it because I know that dating can lead to something really special. At the end of the day, I don’t want to spend myself happy and alone. I want to share it with someone special. So the crappiness of dating is soooo worth the payout – having someone to walk beside you in life. It will take a strong man to power through the crazy dating period with me and claim me as his own, but when someone does that…damn if I won’t spend the rest of my days doing everything I possibly can to make him happy.

This is just a PSA for all guys out there.

If you aren’t getting a great blow job from your lady, part of the problem might not be her…and you might not be the problem either! There might be a third person in the bedroom, so to speak – her ex.

When a girl is into you, she probably doesn’t have her ex on her mind, but her past experiences have made her the blog-job-giver she is today. And believe it or not, her ex probably likes VERY different things than you do. Here are just a few of the things I’ve experienced:

• One guy had balls so sensitive that he HATED having them licked or touched in any way.
• One guy wanted it pretty rough – even using teeth (at least a little) was okay with him.
• One guy was all about the ass. For him, a bj wasn’t a bj unless my finger was in his ass as well.
• One guy needed to pull out of my mouth immediately because he would get really sensitive after cumming.
• One guy loved gagging.

To each of those things, I’ve experienced the opposite as well – a guy who loved having his balls licked, a guy who preferred things very gentle, a guy who was weirded out by ass play, a guy who liked to linger in my mouth after cumming, a guy who was grossed out by gagging…

Often, these things (and other things) are found in combination,  in a mix and match kind of way. Maybe you’re a guy who likes rough deepthroating with a lot of ass play and gagging. Maybe you’re a guy who enjoys ball play and a lot of slobber. Maybe you’re a guy who wants your prostate massaged as she sucks gently and avoids teeth at all cost.

It’s probably weird to think that other guy likes something that you absolutely hate, but I assure you that it’s true. Your blog job mirror is out there, and your new girl might have just dated him.

So this advice is really important: BE VOCAL ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT.

When she does something you love, moan a little or say something sexy like, “Right there, baby.” Or tell her what you want outright. When you don’t like something, guide her gently about from it. When you’re not in the moment, mention that you don’t like whatever she was doing. Avoid sounding critical – package it in a compliment or make it seem like it is your problem, not hers. For example, if she was too gentle, you can say, “I really loved the moments you got rough with my cock – I’m not super sensitive, so I start to get soft when a girl is too gentle.” Or you can say, “I loved when you licked my balls. I’m not really into the ass thing, but my balls love your tongue.”

I think I give a great blow job, but I haven’t always been awesome on the first night with a new guy. I will be, if you give me a chance.

The bottom line? Don’t assume that your new girl sucks at sucking. It takes some time to learn how a new guy likes it. If she’s willing to learn, she probably isn’t bad at head at all. It’s only the girls who refuse to try that will never truly please you.

The new guy in my life loves a sexy French maid costume, so today I wanted to feature sultry outfits in this category as part of my series of posts on sexy Halloween costumes (that can of course also be part of your bedroom year-round). Not all French maid costumes are created equally. Here are some of my favorites:

Plus Size Sexy French Maid

So many plus size costumes are frumpy looking, which makes me sad panda. This plus size French maid costume is anything but! This stretch dress with attached puff sleeves comes with a feather duster and retails for $40.99.

Pink Ruffled Sexy Maid

I love the pink ruffles on this sexy French maid costume! It comes in sizes small through extra large and retails for $46.99. Along with the corset dress, you also get an apron, collar, hat, and wrist cuffs with this set…lots of accessories for BDSM couples who want some playtime after Halloween with this one!

Open Bust French Maid

This one isn’t public-friendly if you’re looking for something for Halloween…but damn if it isn’t sexy! Your partner will definitely than you for picking up this open bust French maid outfit, which retails for $34.99.

Red French Maid

This red French maid costume is another public-unfriendly option, but the red color was too sexy to resist posting. It comes in black too, if red isn’t your color, and won’t break the bank at only $27.96.

Cutesy Fairy Maid

This cutesy fairy maid costume is adorable, and even though it is super sexy, it also won’t get you arrested, so it is safe to wear to any Halloween festivities you want to attend outside of the bedroom. It’s on sale for just $24.98 right now, but only available in size medium/large. I’m guessing that this costume won’t be available for much longer, so if you want it, buy it today!

Frisky Frenchie

Frisky Frenchie is on sale right now for less than $30, so it’s a great time to pick up this three-piece outfit. It comes in sizes small, medium, large, and extra large.

French Maid Fishnet Knee-Highs

Most of the sexy French maid uniforms on this list don’t come with stockings of any sort, so you’ll have to pick up your own. While typical black stockings will do, these maid-inspired knee-highs are gorgeous and a steal at under $10.

Sexy Maid Uniform

I love this sexy maid uniform option if you want to be slightly more covered up than you will be with some of the others on this list.  It comes in four sizes (extra small, small/medium, medium/large, and extra large) and retails for $44.99.

Reversible “Twice as Dirty” Maid

How can you not love this option – it’s a reversible French maid costume! It retails for $55.94, but you get two costumers for the price of one with this outfit. You also get a lot more than just a dress with this costume: it has an attached petticoat, removable straps, a mini feather duster, a headpiece, fingerless gloves, a mini lace apron, and a collar. It also comes in a plus sized reversible option.

Maid Mimi Amore

Yes, this costume actually lights up! The Maid MimiAmore costume has fiber optics in the skirt, which makes it a fun option if you’re going someone dark for Halloween. It comes in sizes small through extra large and costs $53.95 – there’s also a plus-sized version for slightly more. Bonus: that heart on the front is actually a pocket, so you can tuck in a few bucks and your ID to avoid carrying a purse around all night.

If none of these feather-duster-accessorized outfits tickle your fancy (get it? tickle?), check out ever more French maid costume options by clicking on any of these pictures:

Yesterday, I hung out with a group of good friends, including a couple that has been together for a little over a year.

We had been drinking all day and decided to play Apples to Apples, which is a card game that I really enjoy. The concept of the game is a little confusing, though once you start playing, it becomes simple. Basically, as you play, you each get a turn to decide who wins the round. The key is that you pick a winner based on the cards they give you, and you don’t know which card belongs to which person.

Anyway, the couple was part of the group playing, and you could tell that she was grumpypants. She wasn’t feeling well and it had been a long day. It’s TOTALLY uncharacteristic of her to be snarky or negative at all, but she was definitely in a bad mood. To her credit, she was trying to hide it so as to not ruin the night for everyone else.

He picked up on her grumpiness, as did I (I didn’t have quite as much to drink as some of the others who were hanging out with us). He could have escalated it or ignored it…but he didn’t.

Instead, though he hid it pretty well, when it was his turn to pick a winner for the round, he picked her. In fact, the next five times it was his turn, he picked her for three or four times, feigning that he truly didn’t know which card was hers.

It wasn’t about “letting her win.” We were all just having fun, not being super competitive. It was his non-verbal way to say to her, “I can tell you’re in a crummy mood. I’m really sorry, and this is all I know how to do right now to make you feel better. I love you.”

I think that’s what true love is – small gestures that just shows the other person you care. Saying “I love you” to someone is nice and definitely necessary to keep a relationship going, but it’s the gestures that show love that are needed too. Even more importantly, I think the real test is being able to show love even when the other person is being hard to love. When I find someone who loves me like that, even when I’m sick or annoying or argumentative, that’s when I know I’ve found the guy who is right for me.

Looking for a hot Halloween costume? Hopefully, I can help this year! Today, I’m featuring sexy nurse costumes. They’re great for October 31…and beyond. Mmm…the guy in  your life is lucky if you play naughty nurse:

Nurse Anita Shot

Available from Frank Bee Costume Center, Nurse Anita Shot (haha, get it?) is a costume available in sizes small through extra large. The price tag reads $57.95, but you can get an additional 20% off by using the coupon code 001 in the comments when ordering.

Nurse

This nurse costume is great if you want something sexy, but a little more family-friendly, since it provides a little more coverage. It’s also easy on the budget, costing just $21.99. This is available in a single “one size fits most” size, so it may not work for every body type.

Naughty and Nice Vinyl Nurse

This naughty nurse costume is available in three sizes – extra small, small/medium, or medium/large. It costs $71.99, which is a little pricey, but comes with a gartered mini skirt, matching underwired bra top, shrug, and headpiece.

Nurse May I. Kissit

I absolutely love the Nurse May I. Kissit costume, which comes in size 1X/2X and 3X/4X for $53.95. The best thing about this costume is that it has removable pads to accommodate lots of breast sizes and adjustable straps for the perfect fit. It also comes with a hat, belt, stockings, removable garters, and a name tag.

Sexy Pin Up Nurse

Costing $65.99, this sexy pin up nurse costume comes with a cute little zipper dress, little red booty shorts, a stethoscope, and a hat. It’s made from spandex, and available in “one size” so it might be snug or loose on you if you don’t fall into the general small-medium-large range.

Dolly 5″ Nurse Heels

If you already have a perfect nurse costume and just want to accessorize, these naughty nurse heels are perfect. They cost less than $40, are available in white or red, and go up to size 12.

CPR Nurse

I love this naughty nurse outfit because it is a different color scheme – you don’t have to dress in red and white to be a nurse! This outfit retails for under $40 and is on sale right now for just $30.36 and comes with the dress, stethoscope, and hat in sizes small through extra large.

Nurse Corset

If you’re in love with corsets, this is the nurse costume for you! It laces up on either side and comes with a matching cap and g-string for $64.89. You can get this corset in sizes small through extra large.

Nurse Kandi

This pink “candy striper” costume is too cute! The negative to this costume is that it only comes in one size – medium, but it is on sale for just less than $50 at this site, so that’s a positive!

Nurse Knockout

If you like the more goth look, this Halloween nurse costume might be the perfect choice for you. It comes in the plus size pictured here for $40.99, or you can find another version of this black nurse costume for slightly more in both regular and plus sizes.

Nurse Feel Good

Okay, you probably don’t want to wear the Nurse Feel Good costume out in public unless you are way more daring than I am. It comes with an open cup top, open crotch panties, removable garters, and a nurse hat…all for only $21.95.

Nurse Betty

This Nurse Betty costume is just as risque as the last one, so it might not make the perfect public costume, but it’s a great option for a private Halloween party with that special man in your life. The costume costs only $23.95 and comes in small/medium or large/extra large.

Nurse Thigh Highs

Most of the costumes pictured here don’t come with stockings, so pick up a pair of these nurse thigh highs for just $8.99 to complete your look!

Playboy Naughty Nurse

This Playboy nurse costume is in two pieces – a top and skirt – making it perfect for someone like me with a long torso (most costume dresses are way too short because of that!). It’s available for $52.99 and comes with the stethoscope and hat.

Naughty Nurse Nightengale

This plus-sized nurse costume is perfect for going out, since is it slightly revealing and very sexy, but also gives you coverage so you don’t feel so revealed in nurse lingerie or trying to fit into a standard-sized costume that is a bit too small. It retails for $54.95.

Looking for even more naughty nurse costumes? Click on any of these pictures to go directly to the sites to make a purchase: