Someone sent this to me via email, but I thought I’d repost here. It’s kinda like the TMI thing some people post every week!

Are you still friends with the person you lost your virginity to?

Sadly, no. He pretty much was a jerk after we had sex, and eventually stopped talking to me. It was a lot of drama – he told me he was single, but was actually dating someone and she found out because I didn’t make it a secret that we messed around. I don’t really miss him anymore, but I used to miss him a lot.

Do you have any sexual regrets?

Not that I can think of off the top of my head. Maybe one guy I sort-of regret fucking because he was a total ass in every sense of the word and didn’t deserve to be with me.

If you could, how often would you have sex?

Every single day. It doesn’t always happen because of schedules and being tired and being sick and other things, and that’s fine. If there is a heaven, though, I think you get to have sex multiple times every day.

Have you ever had bruises from sex?

LOL. I usually have bruises from sex. I love bite marks, but lately, V hasn’t been biting as hard because last time he went a little overboard and I like, couldn’t lift me arm for two days haha. But I love pushing my pain limits and sometimes wish V woudl more often. Spanking is a personal favorite, but all kinds of pain are fun.

How often do you masturbate?

It depends on my mood. Sometimes I go a week or more without masturbating. Other times, I do several times in a single day. Thank god V hasn’t restricted

What do you think of when you masturbate?

That depends on my mood too. I pretty much have this group of maybe ten guys who I’ve either fucked in the past or wish I could fuck that rotate into and out of my fantasies. V’s there sometimes, but since he’s the person I fuck in real life, I usually mix it up with my fantasies. To be honest, usually, there is more than one guy present!

What is your favorite body part on the opposite sex?

Hair, probably. I loooooove long hair. I also love a cute tushie.

When is the last time you had sex?

Monday! V let me suck him off, which was yummy, and then a little later he bent me over his bed and fucked me hard.

Are you happy with you sex life?

Yep. I wish we played more often, but our schedules are just nuts, and if we fucked more we’d have less time to spend together doing other things. So, right now, this is a really good arrangement.

Do you believe in monogamy? 

I don’t know. I used to, but my thoughts have changed somewhat. I do think that two people can be in a relationship and not cheat or want to be with other people. At the same time, I do also think that it is silly to think that you’ll never care about another person. It’s important to just communicate with your partner and above all, be honest.

Do you believe in “the one”?

Nope. I think there are multiple people out there who could be “the one.” I do believe in soul mates – people who you feel connected to beyond all others. For someone to truly be good for you as a significant other, they have to be a soul mate AND life has to match up to make a relationship possible.

Feel free to answer these questions as a comment or on your own blog!

Having a blog is wonderful for me because I can let the skeletons out of the closet, air my dirty laundry so to speak. There are only a handful of people in “real life” (I hate that term – why isn’t online interaction real?) who know that this is my blog. To everyone else reading this, I’m just a slut on the Internet. As it stands, I believe there are only five people from my personal life who know that this is my blog. And somedays, I think that’s even five too many.

It hurts sometimes, what I have to say here.It hurts me to write it because I’m forced to organize my hectic thoughts. It hurts the people I write about (and sometimes those I don’t because I’m not writing about them). But if nothing else, this place is mine, a place where I can say what I want to say, even if no one wants to hear it.

For the record, the blog list is coming. I promise. I know I keep saying that, but I promise it is true.

This weekend, I got the chance to see some people that I haven’t seen in quite a long time. Generally, V and I have been happy; you know that if you are a regular around these parts. But you should also know that I don’t choose to write every feeling here, and in the last few weeks, I’ve definitely been feeling moments of unhappiness. I talked to V about it. We’ve made some changes in our relationship. Things, in my opinion, have been better. On paper. The unhappiness remained, and it took this weekend for me to fully understand why.

After talking to a friend (who doesn’t know about this site or even about the d/s situation), I’ve come to realize that there are people in this world that I care about other than V. I like the guy a lot. I even love him, though love is a weird word because it means something different to every person. But maybe we jumped into exclusivity too quickly. Or maybe I’m just not cut out for it. In any case, there are some other people in my life who I also care about on a level higher than “just friends,” and I’ve been holding back my love for these people because I didn’t think it was right to feel that way while dating V (or dating anyone for that matter).

But it hurts. It hurts to know that I could love someone so openly and freely if the situation was different. Would I be happier? I honestly don’t know, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt. So, last night, I talked to V and asked to open our relationship. To continue dating, but to also see other people for the time being. We could have rules about sex, rules about spending time, rules about being one another’s “primaries.” I just wanted to be able to love multiple people the way my heart said I should.

And V said no.

Although he’d consider opening the relationship to a second girl who would date both of us, he doesn’t want anything about our relationship to be poly otherwise. And I see his point of view, I understand it, and I respect it. A second girl could be lovely, but it isn’t really what I want.

So V and I have found ourselves as a crossroads.

I don’t want to give up on us. We have a nice relationship cooking on the stove, and we do really care about one another. Despite the problems we do have, there are moments that I’m so drunk with love that I can’t stand it. I like taking care of him. I like being with him. I like listening to him. And I want to know what the future has for us as a couple.

I don’t know if that will happen, though. Since he said no, I’m willing to sacrifice the other people in my life (as potential relationships, not as friends) for him. He said he’s not sure if he wants me to do that. I think at the end of the day, V wants to do what is best for me. He’s my dom. That’s what doms do. He wouldn’t want me to be miserable just to make him happy.

I’m not sure I would be, and that’s why we’re both confused and unsure of the right path. I know that I would be happiest dating V and seeing others on the side…dating and maybe even someday marrying V, but being able to love how love takes me. That’s not an option for V, so that leaves two alternatives – we stay together as we are now or we break up and I don’t have him in my life romantically anymore, but I do have other people. To be honest, both choices break my heart a little, but the choice I’ve made is that I’d rather continue being with V. Relationships are a two-way street, and he hasn’t yet made his choice. He promised he’d talk to me about it by Monday (today) sometime. We haven’t talked all day, and it kills me. I miss him.

Is just V enough for me? Is one person ever going to be enough for me? I honestly don’t know, but I hope I have the chance to find out. I don’t regret talking to him about my feelings though. He deserved to know, even though I’m sure it hurt to hear that.  Right now, all I can do is wait to see if V wants to keep me as his own or if this will be the last decision he makes for me as my daddy.