So, the guy I talked about in my last post? We really hit is off. Our date was amazing – we went out for sushi, spent awhile at the restaurant just talking, watched a movie at my house…and made out. A lot. hahaha.

D has taken to calling him “TR” because I’ve been talking about him so much. TR as in…The Replacement. He came up with that himself and was very proud of it, haha.

So is this guy really TR? I just don’t know. He’s a great guy. Here’s some of the good stuff about him:

• He wants marriage and a family in the near-ish future. We’re not talkng about next week, but he sees himself getting married in the next 5-10 years if he find the right person. So do I, so we match up pretty well on that.
• He’s in a band. The genre of music isn’t really my thing, but guitarists are just freaking sexy.
• He tells me I’m pretty. Often. When we talk or are together, he makes me feel really special, like he feels lucky to be with me.
• Sexually, he’s aggressive, but very much in a respectful way. No, we haven’t slept together! You can definitely tell he’s dominant though, and he’s interested in many of the same kinks I am. Like spanking. I’ve found out firsthand that he’s an AMAZING spanker.
• He’s really super smart. Like me, he reads a lot, which is definitely a plus.

It’s not ALL good though – here are some of the things that have me a little wary of the whole thing:

He lives on the very edge of what I’d consider for dating. The drive is probably around 45 minutes, and although he’s been really willing to do most of the traveling, I like to have someone I can see often, and with that kind of a drive, it’s just not going to happen.

• He’s in a master’s degree program. Right now, that’s fine, because he’s just taking a single graduate-level class at a local college, but this fall, he’ll be applying to grad schools in other places. His top choice is a school in Virginia, with runner-ups being in North Carolina and Canada.
• With his degree and graduate studies, the job he’ll get will likely put him in a city to get a job. Basically, he wants to get his doctorate and teach at a college level or perhaps do research. I know there are colleges in small-town areas, but his field is pretty specific, so he’ll likely have to live in a larger city. I’m totally not a city gal.
• He still lives with his parents. That’s not bad, considering he’s only 24 and still in school, but it just makes the logistics of me visiting him a little awkward.

We’ve made the decision not to commit in any way until we’re absolutely sure that we want to be together long-term, and we’ve also made the decision to not have sex until we’re at that point. Holding back is a good thing for us, but at the same time, its hard for me to feel a real connection with someone until we’re intimate.

So what does all of this mean? Well, it means that he’s coming to visit again tomorrow. And we’ll see. That’s all I can say, I guess! I’m still talking to other guys though, and interested in pursuing others. There are some intereting people who I’ve met in the past few weeks, and I’m not going to say no to a date with any of them because there’s potential with this guy.

So I have a date tomorrow night. A really promising date. I wasn’t going to post about it here because I didn’t want to jinx it, but I’m waaaaaaaay too excited about it not to share at least a little!

The guy in question is a total sweetheart, and while he may not be the hottest guy on the planet, I do find him attractive, especially when you pair his looks with his personality. He’s never really had a long-term girlfriend before, which I actually really like about him. To me, that means that a girl’s gotta be super special for him to want to date. He’s not a virgin though, which is also good. I used to want to be someone’s first, but honestly, I’m not sure I could handle the pressure. I wouldn’t call him really experienced in bed, but he’s got a few partners under his belt. Perfect.

Here’s the even perfect-er part…I’ve told him all about my D/s needs, and he’s really into being dominant in a relationship. In fact, one of the girls in his past was submissive (just in the bedroom though) and he really enjoyed it. When we talked about it being 24/7 rather than being in the bedroom only, he told me he wasn’t comfortable with having a slave, and that he’s more into the Daddy/babygirl dynamic. Um….seriously??? *swoons* The more we told one another what we’re looking for in another person, the more we realized that we were describing the other person.

On top of that, he’s really smart. I love that about a guy. In some of my past relationships, intelligences has really been lacking, and although it sounds snobbish, I don’t think I can ever again date a guy who’s not well educated. That doesn’t always have to mean college per se, but I want to be able to talk about books or movies with a guy without feeling like he doesn’t understand half of what I’m saying, and for god’s say, no leet speak in emails to me. It’s “to” not 2 and “you” not u. D is very smart, and so is the bf I had before him, and I can’t settle for less anymore.

So the new guy (I’m going to have to come up with a name if things work out) and I going for sushi tomorrow and then maybe back to my place a little. Haha, that sounds sluttier than it really is. If we end up going to my house, nothing past kissing is going to happen -I’ve already set my boundaries for that, and he knows that I won’t jump into bed with him.

But I do know that the sparks are there. Oh yes, oh yes, they are DEFINITELY there. hehe.

All of that aside, I do know that I’m not quite ready for commitment to someone. When I have a boyfriend, he needs to be the most important thing in my life, and my situation right now just doesn’t allow for that. I’m really busy, and I actually enjoy being really busy. He’s ok with that. Eventually, he is looking for a girlfriend, not just casual non-exclusive dating, and I am too, but we’re both really go-with-the-flow right now.

Also – and this is good news – I think I’m very much over D. One of my favorite readers had mentioned that it might be painful to write about him like I did two posts ago, and I was worried about that too…but it isn’t. You know what did it? Standing up to him and saying “no” about something. I won’t go into major details, but when I looked at the situation, it took that incident to stop feeling submissive to him. Yes, I still love him. I always will, and he knows that. And it makes me jealous when he sees other girls…but not depressed any more. It’s more of a best friend protective feeling now. I want him to date someone I like.

Oh, and for the record, his old flame is gone again. Surprise, surprise. No one expected her to last, though I believe that they’re friendly, which is healthy at least.

Overall, I miss the sex. D and I had some great nights together. Rawr. And I miss the submission. It’s calming to me. I do think, though, that although us breaking up when we did was a crock of shit, I can do better. And so can he. We may be amazing friends, but you shouldn’t have to settle when it comes to life goals for another person, and we both would have with one another.

It’s almost that time again – I’m going to compile a list of the 100 Sexiest Bloggers of 2009! Don’t get ahead of yourselves – I’m not taking nominations yet. This year, I’m doing things a bit differently – I’m hoping that a bunch of people will want to get involved as judges.

Here’s how it will work:

Nominations will happen in June and July. If you sign up to be a judge, you’ll get a list of 15 bloggers along with links to their site/sites on August 1 (at the latest). You’ll have until September 1 to check out their sites and give them a rating between 1 and 10, just based on how much you like what they write, how often they post, if they respond to commenters, how hot their pictures are, and so forth. Multiple judges will dole out ratings to each site, and I’ll be rating ALL of the sites. The ratings will be averaged together and we’ll then have a list of sexy bloggers that’s much more fair than last year when it was just me doing the rating.

Yes, you can still be a judge if you run a sex site yourself and hope to be nominated. You just won’t rate your own site. You can also be a judge if you’re just a reader – you don’t have to be a blogger yourself!

If you want to be a judge, send me an email at rori@betweenmysheets.com sometime during May or June. Make sure to tell me what site(s) you write and also, on the honor system, what sites (if any) you think you shouldn’t judge because the writers are friends of yours. We want to keep it as fair as possible. Also, if you have a preference for “type” of blog you like (ie, BDSM blogs, poly blogs, straight blogs, gay blogs, etc.), let me know. No promises, but I’ll try to match people up with their favorite things to read – that way it’s more fun!

And of course, I’ll be linking back to all the judges multiple times as I talk about the list, so if you’re a blogger, you’ll get a little traffic your way as a thank you!

Oh…and I know things could change for you between now and August. You aren’t committing to anything set in stone – if you find that you just don’t have time come August, I won’t be mad if you back out! I’m just trying to compile a list of people now so I don’t have to scramble this summer.

Feel free to repost this call for judges on your blog if you think your readers would be interested.

“Get on your back.”

D always knew that I love to be fucked. Hard. Raw. I don’t mind girl-on-top positions, but they give me too much control. I crave the feeling of beng used. Doggie is great for that. So is missionary.

I scurried to lay on the back on the bed, donninig nothing but my sheer lace panties. D took my hands and cuffed them to the restraints at the corners of the bed, but left my legs free, for now at least. And then I found out why.

“Knees together.”

It’s not a commend that I get often, so I knew what was coming. D lifted my legs up and I pressed my knees to my chest. Having a full view of my ass and pussy this way, he spanked me, hard, first on the fleshy parts of my thighs and ass, and then directly between my legs. I gasped and my mind began to go somewhere else…