Between My Sheets

I love what this site had become.

When I first started Between My Sheets…well, I did it for money. Kind of. BMS operated under a slightly different name and was part of a bigger blog network that was paying me to write spicy stories and sex advice. I agreed to the job because I needed the cash.

Then, network policies changed, the staff was mixed up to include some people I did not particularly like, belts tightened, and bloggers on that network were given the option to leave, taking their content with them. I decided to leave, and I took my content…just in case.

It was…a few months? Maybe not even that long, before I knew I needed BMS. This site wasn’t just about erotica anymore, and it certainly wasn’t about making money. It was my place, my slice of the Internet. It was somewhere where I felt I belonged, and for the first time, I was meeting people, albeit virtually, who were encouraging me to be myself. They liked me, they really liked me!

And today, I feel like this blog has become even more. It’s a place where I can tell my personal story, even when things aren’t sexy. It’s a place where I can comment on social issues and discrimination relating to sex and gender. It’s a place where I can promote the things I love through reviews. It’s a place where I can certainly spice things up with fantasies and slightly fictionalized tales of real life sex. It’s a place where I can gather people once a year to support the best sex bloggers out there.

So, maybe it’s time for a change. Maybe it’s time that I redesign this site into what a sex blog really can be. Maybe it’s time to organize so people interested in reviews can find the reviews and people interested in the dish can find the dish. Maybe it’s even time to include pictures and videos. Maybe it’s even time to sell some products, not because I want to profit off of everyone here supporting me or exploit your kindness, but because it would give me the flexibility to actually afford some really cool features for everyone, like forums and giveaways.

I want this site to be a place where we can all hang out without feeling judged. It’s become my piece of heaven, to just be able to rant and rave as I see fit, and you guys – you are the best readers in the world. There’s never any hate. There’s never any disrespect. Even when we disagree with one another, BMS is always such a loving place of acceptance, and that’s not because of me – that’s because of you.

Change is scary, though. I don’t know if I’m ready. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready. Right now, I’m just going to think about it.

What I’d certainly like if your input. What do you think?

Wow, BMS was featured this week on Sexy Tech, a weekly web video show hosted by Kate Abraham (who I have to say is a pretty yummy chicka)! It’s always kinda surreal to find out that people actually read this blog, my little slice of the Internet. Because I don’t say it often enough, thank you, thank you, thank you all for being here through the ups and downs, even when things are more real-life they they are erotically sexy.

And now, check out the show:

I hadn’t heard of it before (I’m terribly in the dark about things these days, just so busy), but I just spent some time going through past shows, and it’s really good stuff. Check out Butterscotch to see more for yourself.

Oh, and a huge thanks to Kate and crew for talking about my site! You’re awesome!

On a side note:

Kate’s show was just banned on iTunes, which is ridiculous if you watch the show – it isn’t porn in any way, they even cover up naughty bits on pictures. Apple didn’t even give them a reason, and isn’t returning emails. Here’s to hoping they can get relisted there once they show they aren’t some kind of porn site!

If you think this is as stupid as I do, show your support on Butterscotch and consider posting about it on your blog if you have one. We all know what it’s like when people look down on us or even discriminate because we talk about sex, so I’m sure it’s a tough week for Kate right now. Some words of encouragement go a long way!

When I agreed to let D move here, I thought it would bring us closer together. I didn’t know what to expect in terms of whether or not we’d be able to move past being just friends to something more, but I didn’t move him here for that reason. I thought it would be a good thing for our friendship, and I thought it would be a good thing for both of us individually, for financial reasons.

It has been a good thing. In some ways. It really, really has. We’re learning a lot about one another, and we’re definitely helping one another out with bills, business, etc. Plus, it’s nice to have someone to talk to during the day. We’re both work-at-home people, so it can get lonely to the point of insanity when you don’t have someone else around.

As good as it’s been though…

Well, there’s no easy way to say this, but it’s highlighted that our friendship as we knew it is coming to an end. I do still consider him my best friend, but I’ve found that I’m slowly withdrawing and letting him in my mind/heart less and less. We don’t talk to one another on the same level we used to. I’m not comfortable with him knowing when I’m upset, and he used to be the person I ran to so I could feel better. I feel like I’m pulling back and away from him, curling into myself and putting up a shield. It’s happening almost beyond my control, and it makes me sad.

I do think that multiple things have happened to cause this. First, him moving here has been difficult because we’ve had to face our problems every moment of every day. There’s little time to cool off when you live with someone and see them every day. I also think that a major player is the fact that we’re both extremely focused on building our businesses, including a joint project that we’re working on together. When working with a friend, you have to kinda set your friendship aside and be all business. Otherwise, feelings get hurt.

But really, the main factor for me has been her – that girl he’s into. I want to go on record as saying this isn’t her fault. It’s not even his fault. I just can’t get past it. I hate watching what she does to him, but I hate even more what she’s inadvertently done to us. We’ve agreed not to talk about her, unless necessary, because it just leads to fighting.

Unfortunately, that means that I don’t ask him about his day anymore. And he doesn’t talk about his problems with me. And I can’t voice my insecurities or anger or sadness. We just…have stopped talking. I mean, sure, we talk, but we don’t talk about the important things in life anymore. We talk in the same way that you talk to someone new you’ve met at a party or a peripheral friend in high school/college. This is not what you build a true friendship on. The foundation is there…but the building has crumbled for us. I’m not sure it can be rebuilt.

It hurts, not just because he’s after some other girl, but because she doesn’t see and appreciate how he’s willing to fight for her and how he goes out of his way to make her feel special. I could say a million other things I dislike about her too, but this isn’t the time or the place. It just hurts because…I would have appreciated it. I would have loved it. I would have returned it. I think I did, for a long time.

The worst part of it is that I feel like he’s lying to me about some stuff. Not necessarily lying as in flat out telling me things that aren’t true…but I feel like things are going on that would make me upset and he’s keeping them from me as long as possible. One day, he’s going to come to me and tell me that they’re a couple, that they have been for a few weeks or months, and it’s going to crush me. I already sense that it is going to happen.

No, I take it back. That’s not the worst part. The worst part is feeling stupid. He talks to her in these “secret” messages via social networking sites all the time. He thinks I don’t get the references, but I do. Everyone does. It’s pretty obvious. I just want to scream, “DUDE. I KNOW YOU’RE REFERENCING HER WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT…” And it kills me, because I feel like it’s all behind my back. I know it’s not meant that way. I know he’s not talking to me about it because we don’t want to fight anymore. I get that. It’s probably the right thing to do. Hell, I’m doing the same thing in not talking to him about the ever-growing anger I have toward her. I feel like every day, I hear stuff about her through the grapevine that makes me cringe. Ok, not every day, but god damn, she seems to pop up all over the place. I can’t get away. Like I said, the fact that we’re not talking about it means that we’re not fighting an that is a good thing.

But it makes me curl even tighter into myself. I find myself withdrawing more every day. He has become a friend like my other friends, the ones who see business-Rori and happy-face-Rori and has-her-shit-together-Rori. I’ve always let him see the real me, below the shell, but I don’t know how to do that anymore.

I could really use a best friend right now. I’m going through a lot of personal medical and business stuff at the moment, and I wish I could just snuggle up with D and talk to him about it, like I would in the past. I know he’s still willing to listen, but it just…isn’t the same. I want to, but I can’t open up with him anymore. I try to, but it comes off as mean and defensive. I feel like I don’t really know him anymore, and I know that he doesn’t know me anymore.

I tried to talk to him about this yesterday, and he blew me off. I don’t know if it was because he didn’t realize I was trying to have a serious conversation or if it was because he just didn’t want to talk about it. Either way…I guess this is us, now. Together, and able to see one another every day for the first time EVER.

Together, and completely alone.

You know what I haven’t posted for a long time on this blog? Some good, old-fashioned erotica. For a girl so concerned with sex, I certainly haven’t been writing about it much lately. That doesn’t mean I haven’t been having it. Oh, I’ve been having it.

After all, D lives with me now.

Things haven’t been perfect between D and I, to say the least. I’ve been using this blog to vent about the problems we’ve been having, but at the end of the day, there are a lot of good stories to tell too. Hot stories, even. I’ve just been so busy with the list and my day job that I haven’t had time to tell ya’ll about the hot stuff.

But fuck it. Tonight, I need a break from work.

And as I’m writing this, I can hear D talking to his friends out in the living room. Which makes it even hotter that I’m in the bedroom thinking about him. He almost caught me masturbating the other day when he walked into my room to talk to me about something unrelated to sex. Not that I really would have minded, but I don’t think he would have expected it. I almost wish he would have walked in and caught me, just to see the look on his face.

I’ve seen the look on his face as he watched me masturbate before. A few weeks ago, I went into my room, making no secret about what I was going to do. A few minutes later, he followed, shutting the door behind him. He didn’t say anything as he watched me rubbing myself slowly, enjoying every wet, lovely second. I could see him standing over me, watching as I began to slide my glass dildo into my pussy, which had grown wetter since he entered the room.

“I always wondered what you looked like when you masturbated.” I didn’t stop. No more wondering. I was going to enjoy myself.

I didn’t stop as he crouched down to get a better view. My pussy grew increasingly wet, so wet you could hear the glass cock sliding in and out. I moaned, my fingers on my clit.

I didn’t stop as he peeled off his shirt and unzipped his pants. Since D and I first met, he has put on some weight, and although he constantly talks about how self-conscious he is about it, I find it becoming. D is hot, hotter today than I’ve ever seen him in the past. Usually when I masturbate, I have to close my eyes an think about all kinds of naught scenarios, but there was my naughty scenario, pulling off his boxer briefs right in front of me. Looking delicious as he watched me play with myself, knowing that on some level, he still owned that pussy.

My gaze met his and I didn’t stop. My pussy was begging for a real cock, needing to feel D inside of me, wanting him to take control. I smirked as D slowly stroked his cock, almost as an afterthought, watching me intensely.

Suddenly, he was between my legs, pushing away my hands and holding my thighs apart. He took control of the glass cock and thrust it deeply into me, make me gasp and buck again it. He rubbed my clit slowly, teasing me, and I instinctively reached down to rub it faster. He slapped my hand away soon, the dildo was tossed aside, making room for his cock instead.

That glass dildo (review coming soon) is hands down my favorite toy…but it is nothing compared to D’s cock. When D’s cock is in me, he isn’t D anymore. He’s Daddy. And he knows that, which makes him even more lethal. It isn’t even about control. It’s just about him knowing that my pussy will always want his cock.

“Oh fuck,” he groaned, sliding into me.

I immediately clenched around him, needing to feel every inch, and he began to thrust, his cock curling up to hit my g-spot. I kissed and nibbled his neck, moving in rhythm with him, listening to his breathing quicken as he enjoyed my pussy. It was the closest I felt to D in years, just moving together, enjoying it. No submission. No domination. Just two people fucking one another raw.

His thrusts came faster and faster. “Come in me, claim that pussy,” I growled in his ear. My hands scratched at his back and I bit his shoulder, riding the wave of his orgasm as he came.

And the best moments? Right after D comes, even time, he slows and thrusts just a few more times in me, then holds there a bit before pulling out. It feels amazing, his cock slowly softening and ever so slightly still thumping from the orgasm as he collapses on me, his face buried in my hair for just a moment.

And D, in true dom sense, made me pick up the dildo and play with myself some more as he watched, putting his clothes back on. I came, loud and hard, with him watching, and got the two words I always long for most.

“Good girl.”

Judging the Top Sex Bloggers list every year is a ton of work, and after doing it myself the first year, it was pretty clear that this was a job for a team of people. This year, THIRTY amazing bloggers and blog readers signed up to be part of the judging panel. That’s more than I could have ever expected!!! Considering that nearly 200 blogs have been nominated, I’m happy for all the help.

Without further ado, here are your 2010 judges:

1. Bunny from Sex Kitten Chronicles
2. Lilly from Dangerous Lilly and elust
3. Bilinda from Fantasies of an UnOfficial Concubine
4. Stan, a BMS reader
5. Brandis, a BMS reader
6. Amanda from Bad All By Myself
7. Nanny from Naughty Mommy Reviews and Junk
8. Red from The Red Sneaker Diaries
9. Dallas from Naughty Americans
10. Becky from Empire Labs
11. Arabella from Bombsells & Rockstars
12. Emme from Maui Kink
13. Sir Zoomer from Vanilla-Xtract
14. Vixen from Secrets of a Blue-Eyed Vixen and Tits for Troops
15. Nadia from Diary of a Kinky Librarian
16. Chris, a BMS reader
17. Fantasia Lilith from Pillow Talk Press
18. Monicker, a BMS reader
19. Janie, a BMS reader
20. Arvan, from SexGenderBody
21. Martin, a BMS reader
22. Roxy from Uncommon Curiosity
23. Brian, a BMS reader
24. Ruth from Geeky Nymph
25. Violet from Screaming Violet
26. Mr. C, a BMS reader
27. Crista Anne from PinkSexGeek[dot]com
28. Inara de Luna from Temple of the Red Lotus, The Qadishtu Experience, and Petals in Ink
29. Cin from Seeing My Own Reflection
30. Jaye from MacLeod & Valentine

If you emailed me about being a judge and do not see yourself on this list, PLEASE email me again in the next few days. I didn’t mean to leave anyone out – sometimes emails just get missed by accident. Also, if I have you linked incorrectly, just let me know and I can change it on this post!

Judges – expect to hear from me in the next week.

Ok, everyone go check out these amazing bloggers. Some of them have blogs that aren’t very old or some have websites with products, instead of blogs, but all of them are worth checking out!